Thailand

     Here it is, already April, and I've been neglecting my blog right off the bat. I think I have come to understand the reason for that. Thailand wasn't what I expected. Well I guess it would be more accurate to say that Thailand was MORE than I expected. I knew it would be hot and humid, but knowing is so different from KNOWING, ya know? Knowing that it would be hot and humid was one thing, but experiencing the quasi-suffocated feeling of the moist, polluted Bangkok heat is a whole different ball of (melting) wax. And then both of us being tall and blonde, we fairly screamed 'tourist' (I'm sure the backpack and camera didn't do much to underline that perception) and as such, we were badgered for guided tours, long-neck-boat rides, tuk-tuk rides, tuk-tuk tours, guided tuk-tuk-tours of long-neck-boat factories.... you get the idea. We couldn't go 10 yards in Bangkok without being solicited for our money. I understand - I really do: Bangkok's ENTIRE economy is based on tourism and we were tourists. I am all for people making money and supporting themselves but this was headache-inducing. Speaking of headaches, almost everyone also uses a bleach that is scented with a fake-Gardenia scent and it's nauseatingly prevalent. I mean, this stuff is used to wash windows, spray down your corner of the street, wash your floors....EVERYTHING! For a girl from a town with 400 people, this amount of hustle, bustle, and clamoring was. Just. Too. Much. The food, like much of Asia's food, digested really quickly so here I was - hot, sticky, jet-lagged, claustrophobic, and constantly hungry. While I can't say that My Husband, The Viking took to it like a turkey buzzard to roadkill, I can honestly say that his demeanor and disposition changed NOT A JOT. In the middle of our stay in Thailand, we took a 14-hr train ride to Chiang Mai. The train ride was interesting in itself because it boasted ONLY an Asian toilet, which is to say, a slightly elevated hole in the floor with corrugated-metal foot rests. Please heed my warning when trying to 'pop a squat' on a lurching Thai train!! Actually, I don't have a warning, per-se, but just be very, very careful. (Over-share alert!!!) My flip-flops were literally SATURATED with 'moisture' from these forays - and I didn't miss the hole. So who's moisture was that? Ugh.
     Chiang Mai was a wonderful departure from Bangkok. Only a fraction (like 1/16th) of the number of people hawking things on the sidewalk and the general pace of life was slower. The only drawback is that in an 18-hour trip to Chiang Mai, I managed to acquire almost 30 bug bites. What!? It was really pretty disgusting. On our big day in Chiang Mai, we went to a place called 'Tiger Kingdom'. You get driven out there (we chose a tuk-tuk) and you get to choose which sizes of tigers you want to.....pet! We chose large, small, and x-small. So first we're shepherded in to an garden-like enclosure and introduced to a trainer who tells us "don't touch their heads, stay by their tails, and pet them hard. Otherwise they'll think you're a fly and they'll bite your hand off". Ahh, I see. No big. So we spent 15 minutes with five 600-pound tigers - my favorite of which was named Bobby. We were fortunate to be there virtually right when the place opened, because tigers sleep most of the day and all of our tigers were awake, engaged, and photo-op-ready. Next, we moved on over to the 'smalls' who all had flower names. There was Jasmine, Gardenia, Lotus, and.....annnnd.... the other one. Whoops. Anyway, these kittens were about 6 months old, about 50 pounds, and damn cute. They were climbing on logs, chasing bugs, romping with each other, and then finally passing out in a kitty pile.

     Lastly, we're shown into a BLESSEDLY shaded area (although Chiang Mai was a good ten degrees cooler than Bangkok) and asked to remove our shoes and wash our hands to play with the babies. Oh. My. Goodness. These little guys were fluffy and inquisitive and TINY. A little bit bigger than my obese cat. I'd say about 25 pounds. One of them started play-stalking My Husband, The Viking and actually pounced-on and bit his hand. It was adorable, but earned him an admonition as he is being trained to be a 600-pound, tourist-friendly cat. He sauntered away, unperturbed, and attacked his brother. The entire Tiger Kingdom experience was amazing and the photos are outrageous. I also fell in love with something called 'Ancient Ice Cream' sold at the big Chiang Mai walking market. Simply rectangular, coconut ice cream on a skewer. So creamy and delicious. During the night market, we got our second and best glimpse at the twice-daily ritual of the National Anthem. Many places in Thailand play the national anthem at two pre-determined times during the day - once in the morning, and once at night. All the Thais stop anything they're doing, stand still, and give the national anthem your respect. It was deceptively charming and created a great air of unity - a very cool thing to be a part of.

The train ride back from Chiang Mai was (blessedly) a sleeper car.
I would go back to Thailand, but I may very well skip Bangkok all together. The heat, humidity, and bustle was too much for this country mouse. Arm me with some appallingly 95% DEET bug spray, and it's Chiang Mai for me!!!